12 random thoughts

1. Working can be a very daunting task. However, nothing beats working with close friends! =)

2. I love surprises!

3. I am not motivated for my degree at all. In a way, I feel cheated because sometimes it feels like I am learning what I've learned in my diploma. The course syllabuses are almost repetitive and the only difference is that the subjects have different names. How silly?! Not to mention, the assignments are absolutely crazy. At times, I do wonder why I am back at college when I can actually continue working. I guess one major setback for me if I were to continue working is the fact that I won't have a degree certificate with me. Yeah, that piece of paper matters that much for the future. On another hand, as much as I would like to graduate, I refuse to start working so fast. Oh god, I am so complicated! I think it's more of human nature to have an insatiable needs and wants in life. Why are we constantly craving for better things in life?

4. Esther, I am excited over our "business" plan! **Tee-hee-hee** It would be so great if one day it can be materialised. I think we'll make good partners. I hope! Ahahhaha =)

5. I think Leona Lewis has a voice of an angel. I think Colbie Caillat's songs are very straight forward.

6. My mum has been taking my "emo" story books to read. Is it good? I haven't been reading at all except for boring journals and articles. I think after all this, I am going to pamper myself with a "me" session at the bookstore. I miss sitting there with a cup of coffee and a great book at hand for hours. Sometimes ,I do "people watching" and try to read them. Ahahaha.. I love reading people! =)

7. My sisters are "blaming" me for their recent coffee addiction. =p

8. I hope that the toilet gets fixed as soon as possible. It's just crazy to wake up so early every morning because of the drilling.

9. The scale is not going down. It's time to get my butt back to yoga classes. Next month... next month I will start!

10. I miss Karen and Safira so much. Sigh! I wish i can fly to Australia and meet them. Stay for a week and just have fun with them. Then, I can also visit Apple and Bernice. Next year, I have better reason to go when Cyrus and Miranda go over to complete thier degree. I shall work during my coming holidays.

11. I want to watch a play at KLPAC. I guess I miss acting on stage alot. Plus, I like going to KLPAC at night. It somehow gives me an inexplicable aura. Maybe it's haunted! -_-

12. Sometimes, we have all the details in our head. As we try to arrange them orderly, we can't seem to figure out what should come first, what should be the last, what should be said to fill in the gaps. We have..we have it all thought out but not said out. It's just so hard to explain certain matters,especially matters at heart. At times, we do wonder whether we said too much, too little, just right, not right, so wrong or not too wrong. Consequently, we tend to subconsciously question how we will be seen and interpreted for what we say and do. Where do we draw the lines exactly? However, if we continue drawing lines in our lives, does not mean that we are drawing boundaries as to where we can and cannot go? I have to admit that I used to be very judgmental about people. I make my own conclusion about people through their conversation and behaviour. Nevertheless, over the years, I realised that it's just not fair or even right to decipher what kind of person he/she is that way. I would say that we can only start to know and learn to understand a person behind closed doors. When someone shares their anecdotes, it opens a leeway for us to engulf in their experience. And, it is experience that shape and mould who they are as well who we are.

Breathe In, Breathe Out

There is just something about running.
There is also something about lying on the sit up bench and staring blankly at the sky.

Today

Conversation that seems small yet deep
Rides that seem long yet serene
Meal that seems simple yet delicious
Walk that seems tiring yet meaningful
Rest that seems short yet peaceful

Suddenly I remembered

Suddenly I remembered
It was one of those quiescent nights
On that rough pavement
Where the dark sky was absolutely beautiful
Where soulful voices formed the uncharted melody

Blogging from class ....

1. Swee Ling is pissed!

2. Swee Ling finds learning dreamweaver kinda fun. But, wait till she has to get her assignments done.

3. Swee Ling is angry!

4. Swee Ling is angry!

5. Swee Ling is very very very very angry! RAWR!!!!

Before It's Too Late

And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you don't live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real till it's gone

Hold on before it's too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

So live like you mean it
Love til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real till it's gone

- Goo Goo Dolls -

Always

If you can't go dancing under the rain
We'll just stand under the pouring shower head

If the world turn its back against you
Just look ahead and you'll find me

Tainted Image

living
breathing
surviving
under the tainted image radar

When we were young

When we were younger
We used to pretend
Pretend to be who we wanna be
Pretend to be where we wanna be
Pretend to be what we wanna be

As we grow older
Pretending seems to be a tiring affair
We just wanna be who we wanna be
We just wanna be where we wanna be
We just wanna be what we wanna be

We seem to distance ourselves from the fairytale
From that fantasy of how life would be
All we seek for is just a form of simplicity
If we do not know what the future holds
We just care about now
For as long as the mind is at ease
The heart is contented
We think we can stand firmly on the ground

:(

Currently going crazy just by reading the first three pages of Todd Oakley's article

conceptual blending theories?
conceptual integration?
linguistic meaning and textual hermeneutics?
simulations semantics?

Patience! I know I will get this. They usually make simple things complicated. Really! Just like the previous KVL's chapters......

-

Why?

The dictionary tells me that 'why' is used when people seeks for a reason, a purpose or an explanation.

A Picture

I am not too sure if it was just me or not. Initially, I thought that it would be an 'easy peasy' task to look for a picture to critique. Having spent days and hours looking through pictures after pictures, I realised that I was very wrong .

All along the way, I reckoned that the whole process of selecting a picture was unduly time consuming because I was looking for a picture that is artistically akin to me. Practically, I shouldn't be doing that because there are many other assignments waiting for me. So, if I can actually find a picture that consists of 3 elements and principles respectively, I should be jumping with joy and move on with the writing process. Me, being me, I somehow just refuse to do so. Anyway, I am very satisfied now that I've found the 'one'. The time and effort spent were all worthwhile.

They say that an 'artist' visual composition at a given point of time often reflects their current state of mind. I think it's absolutely true. In my opinion, for a picture to stand on its own without having to provide a descriptive account reflects that the picture has a universal appeal. Meaning that the picture brings a form of relationship to the 'viewer 'simply because once upon a time the viewer have felt maybe not exactly, but similar feelings as the 'artist'. Or it could be that the 'viewer' is currently enveloped in that particular moment. You know when that overwhelming euphoria comes rushing to your heart when you stare at picture that seems to reverberate your emotion?

Maybe like the picture below? Lolx =)

- Reaching for the sky -

Feel like I've been trampled

As I am typing away, the smell of the moist banana cake still lingers in my mouth. I am suppose to start on my assignment, but my mind is scattered recklessly all over an empty room. I do not know where should I begin. Everyday we unconsciously or consciously prepare a "to-do" list. At the end of the day, we will review the list to see what have we accomplished and what we have to catch up for the very next day. Lately, it feels as though my "to-do" list of the past can't seem to be completed as much as I would like to.

See... I can't even continue writing because I do not even know where should I start...

Maybe I do know where I should start, but I am just questioning myself whether do I really need to do this...

To tell

To explain

To share

Where are my rights as a human in this world that is so big that I can barely hug it with both my bare hands?

I am that tiny relatively compare to the size of this universe.

But, how come I feel like I am supposed to carry the entire world on my shoulder?

Lately, one lawfully lesson that I have learned is that I am not supposed to fall in love freely.

Yes, you read it right - a 'lawfully' lesson. Since when is there a law when it comes to love? I do not know. Don't ask me! I am told so. Hence, should I just digest that law and embed it into my life?

I didn't thought that I will turn 21 in this way ...

Maybe, god is giving me a very memorable lesson before I turn 21.

You see, it's not easy to change a person behaviour, attitude, disposition, so on and so forth especially when one is hitting the era of being a 'young adult'. Hence, for one to be accused of not being the same person as she is anymore is rightfully and lawfully unfair to her because she belongs to herself! It feels like I've been ripped of my freedom and right as a normal human being in this world.

You know what will be a great fix for this feeling right now?

Hiding underneath the blanket with the rain beating rhythmically at the background or maybe a hot bubble bath with all the lights off so that I can just escape. Even if it's a temporarily escape, I will just seize it!