I am actually in the midst of trying to do my work. Hmmm... ever since college started, many things have changed, many events have taken place. No matter how bad certain things are, I am always trying to look at it in a positive point of view. I think that this is the least I can do, or perhaps it's the best I can do, to embrace any changes that comes by in my life.
This is my final semester and barely 4 weeks into studies, we had a sudden break just last week due to the H1N1 outbreak at college. I don't really like having sudden break because I have no plans at hand at all. Well, I would like to make my holidays as fulfilling as possible and because of this sudden one week break, my supposedly 2 weeks mid-semester break in September is now a one week break only. Sigh! Anyway, there's nothing much I can do. So yeah ... Hmmm.. how has the semester been for me so far? Well, it's plain boring and mundane. Worst still, I am feeling so unmotivated to attend any classes (but I have clean records so far!!!). ;)
What's so scary about being in the final semester is the thought of going into the working world. Every time when I close my eyes and picture myself working, I can't help but to have this sense of rush, urgency and stress that I used to feel when I was working back then and it scares the hell out of me. Hence, I am undecided if I want to start my career at an agency. I have a few routes in mind, but I honestly can't tell you what I've decided because I'm really not sure where I would want to go. I can't seem to decide what type of job that I want. However, many people around me have been constantly reminding me that I should just apply to whatever that comes to mind because applying doesn't necessarily means I am getting it. I do see where they are coming from in that sense. However, I see no point in applying whatever that comes to mind because I think I should learn to prioritize and at the very bottom line, I should know what kind of environment I would like to work in. Right now, I am not looking at the money. Well, I can't deny that money is an influential motivating factor. However, I am looking for something more than just money. (but, if my job satisfaction comes with money, why not?!)
You see, I always believe that being young or to be more specific being a fresh graduate, we somehow have the leeway to make mistakes and to learn from them. Being a fresh graduate means that we are like a brand new sponge that is anticipating to soak up as much as we can and as fast as we can. I somehow believe that as a fresh graduate, it will be good to be working at a company which will help us discover our strengths and weaknesses because I can be quite certain that most fresh graduates have no idea where and what are their core competencies. I believe that it's important for fresh graduate to work with a company that believes in empowering their employees because when we are young and fresh, having a strong and supportive backbone is of paramount to boost our self-confidence. Having the power to carry out a role is important, but I think having the necessary support and confidence that help to boost our morale is more essential because in this way, we will tend to strive harder and achieve higher, if not for the company but for ourselves. I am sorry I am long winded. I guess, what I am trying to say is that I need to work for a company which will allow fresh graduates like me a chance to learn and not to expect me to know and deliver right on the spot. Everyone needs time to deliver exceptional results. Well, of course I realised that time has it boundaries too. I reckon in this context, everything is about give and take.
Anyway, during the sudden break I managed to catch up with a dear friend who has been working tirelessly. Working life is not easy and that is why it is very important to love what we do. They say love can be cultivated. I hope she will learn to cultive love for her job. *hugs*
As I am graduating very soon, I am also thinking about what the future holds for me - how much of what I have now will remain with me, or how much will I gain and lose as I go through this huge transition? These are just a few questions that I constantly ponder. It's heart wrenching thinking about things that matters so much for the fear of losing them. I know that the road ahead is not going to be a smooth sailing journey. I know that the road ahead is bumpy and winding as it's filled with many pit stops, traffic lights and sign boards. The road ahead is indeed tough and it's all about making choices. Hence, I know, the road ahead is one hell of a journey that requires confidence, trust, respect, support, love and many more of the good things that can make me feel that I am not alone in that road. One of the hardest thing to do as human is to remain strong and positive because it takes a lot out of us and that is why many things in life is not about physical capabilities but mental and emotional endurance. You know, till today, I can't decide if it's better to let the head decide or to let the heart rule.
"You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile"
("Smile" by Uncle Cracker)
