I am still looking for what I love

I think my biological clock is somewhat screwed! It's close to 5 a.m now but I refuse to sleep. Yeah, I "refuse". My friends who are trying their best to finish their assignments are yearning to sleep while I refuse to sleep when I actually can. I think something must be wrong with me. Plus, I should actually sleep more because I reckon that once I am back at college, I will be deprived of sleep.

So, it has been confirmed that I will be going back to Taylor's to obtain my degree. As much as I would like to go somewhere else, I think I should just learn to count my blessings to be given a scholarship to study. In a way, at least my decision to work for about 5 months before going back to college was worth it. Actually, even if I did not get a scholarship, I would still think that what I have gained for the past months is priceless. For all that I have gone through; I think they are worthwhile.

You know, it's really so hard for me to determine what I love to do. I am very certain that I have not discover my true love. I don't think (or at least I hope I wont' be) I am one who is willing to compromise my enjoyment and contentment for money. Money is indeed an important survival commodity in today's world. And, by saying this, most of you will think that I am crazy. But, honestly, after working in a real public relations environment, I am not sure whether my heart belongs there. As much as I think I can be good and better at what I do, I always, always question myself whether working in the public relations line is where I want to go. Hence, I ended up asking myself countless times about my degree. At the very beginning, I was like, as long as I get a scholarship to pursue my degree, then everything will be alright. However, when I managed to get a scholarship, I then went on to doubt about my choice for degree.

I will be going back to Taylor's come this 31^st July. I really hope that along the way, I will discover and rediscover more of myself – interest, belief, goals, and dreams. Maybe some of you might think that people like me, who intends to seek for happiness are the ones at the losing end as compared to the ones seeking for power and money. Well, maybe I am. But, as long as I am happy and contented, I think I will live a memorable life at the very least. I know I am not realistic. Regardless of what, I want to prove that it's possible to attain things in life without neglecting my stands in terms of love, relationship, family and friends.

A communication degree should be one of the most flexible degrees around. Thus, I am pretty sure I will one day (hopefully soon) discover where I wanna be, what I wanna do, how am I going to do it....... =)